What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

What's big, white, and when it falls out of a tree, it can kill you? A refrigerator.

Why did the two blondes decide to ride in one car? Because it's more environmentally friendly than taking two cars.

yo momma so fat... she went on a calorie controlled diet and lost 3 stone, she's a really nice lady too.

How many kids does Buzz Light Year have? To infinity and beyond!!

What is red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

Here's another:

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

What KFC? Deep fried aborted babies.

Why did Oliver fall? He shot himself.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

what did the man say to his dog? sex. -teagan doherty

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

why did chuck norris walk on water? because he's chuck norris

Your mother's breath smells so bad that it just doesn't smell very good at all.

A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

What do you call a sheep with big teeth? Mitch

Caller: Is your fridge running! Callee: ... umm yes? Caller: I guess you don't need my services. Thanks Callee: ok bye

What's worse than finding a worm in your Holocaust? Oh, wait, I said it wrong...

A man walks into a bar. He enjoys a few quiet drinks with friends before returning home to his loving family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...