Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How to apply total justice 1: Kill all humans! Moral: "Why do I have to die while he gets to live? Nobody gets to live? Sounds fair and just to me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How many pandas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did Sally go when the bomb went off? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's better than having sex with your mother? Nothing. I'm in love with her, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Two Irish men walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why are kenyans so fast? Because due to evolutionary changes, people from that area of the world have evolved to have superior muscle builds to sprint, hence giving them a natural advantage against an equally trained athlete form another part of the world with an equal skill level

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Kobe Bryant passing the ball

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby fall out of the trees? Cause it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Well that explains a lot, thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between Megan Fox and a dead baby? I'll eat Megan Fox before I fuck her.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby cross the road? It's abusive father punted it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops