An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

Why is a bear like a cloud? They are both blue.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?". The horse doesn't respond because it neither speaks nor understands English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on the way.

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

Oh

What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

Why is One direction the best thing in the world? Becuz when 5 hot guys met each other they... Sorry I got lost in Zayn's eyes again! Now what were we talking about??????

Tim tebow is the anti christ

Hello, nice to meet you.

The sun was burning as the Elephant offered the mouse to walk between the sun and the mouse so the mouse could get some shade. Mouse: Lets switch places so you can have some shade too! Elephant: Good idea! Just then unexpectedly the elephant slipped on a banana peel and tilted towards the mouse. Squish. Moral: The reason they never tell kids the full story... for real.. honest...

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

Why did the alligator travel through time? To get to the other side.

What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

when life gives you lemmons, chuck em' at beiber

Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

what did the gay guy get for his birthday aids

What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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