Why is the turkey always full? Because he is stuffed.

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What has 4 legs and goes "meow." A cat. Dang! You already heard it.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I lost my tractor.

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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Why did the black man work at a Kentucky Fried Chicken? Because he was fired from his job at a grocery store, and it was the only job he could find on short notice in the current job market.

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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So there are two elephants in a bathtub. Elephant 1: "yo can you pass the shampoo" Elephant 2: "radio!"

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A man rubs a magic lamp nothing happens

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What did Pittsburgh say to Philadelphia? .........Lightbulb.........

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What do you do when you find a robber holding a 19 pound sack of poultry? Think life through and try to find out how you had this coming.

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Sometimes I light my hair on fire and pretend I'm a candle.

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Why did the taxi driver kill the blond? He didn't. It's illegal to murder people in most countries.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Lame Anti Jokes.

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Yo momma so fat she was baptized in a church, because she wasn't as fat as she is currently.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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What do you call a black guy going into mcdonalds A great opportunity to make a raciest joke

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the man murder his wife in cold blood? Because she was alive before he killed her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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