Your momma's so fat when she walks into a restaurant she orders salad.

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Oh

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???????????? WTF?

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So a man is shopping on black Friday...

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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how do you put a giraffe in a fridge? open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. how do you put an elephant in a fridge? open the door, take out the giraffe, put the elephant in and close the door. the lion king is holding a conference in the jungle and all the animals turn up except for one, which animal is missing? the elephant, it's in the fridge. you come across a river you need to cross, but it is infested with man-eating crocodiles, how to you cross the river without dying? just swim across, all the crocodiles are at the conference.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Justin Bieber.

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how do you know if a black man's been on your computer it's gone

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Q:How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A:Just Juan.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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What is the main similarity of Darth Vader and Michael Jackson? They are both dead fathers.

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Why is the black boy made fun of at school? Because the kids at his school are racist.

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Why can't humans fly? Because there is simply no natural way of achieving lift with the bodies that we have. We must use other means to become airborne such as planes and hot air balloons.

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Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

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OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

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A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

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So a black man, an Italian, a Mexican, an Irishman, a Chinese man, and a Jew walk into a bar. They go their separate ways and never see each other again.

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Why did the koala bear fall out of the tree? Because it's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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