Why did the blind man die? He had eye surgery and the doctor told him when he first opened his eyes there would be a very bright light, turns out he also had alzheimers and wandered onto the train tracks

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A man stepped on a nail. He died shortly after of lockjaw.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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What do you say to a black man in the morning? Good morning

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Hey wanna hear joke? ........ yeah .......me too

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Knock knock Who's there? What are you, blind?

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Whats the difference between a loser and a winner there places

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. The redhead, growing tired of the constant ridicule directed at her from the other two, kills them. She pleads guilty to 3rd degree murder on two counts and is sentenced two life sentences in a maximum security prison in Cambodia.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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What did the Johhny say to the black man when he saw him buying a watermelon? Nothing, Johnny is mute.

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Why did the little boy chase after his ball? Because it rolled away

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A mexican pedophile stalks a child home. He molests him.

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at checkers? Cause he's dead.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins the china town

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Why did the man stop chewing gum? I threw a grenade at him.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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Potato!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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