In Soviet Russia You drive car, because a car driving you would be screwed up

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why was 6 afraid of seven? cause 7's a n i g g a

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What's worse than bad words? People who say them

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What do you call a man with ADHD ? A man with ADHD.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a doctor.

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3 blind mice walk into a bar. they have no idea of their surroundings and are quickly crushed to death.

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Who is the funniest guy on this planet? Mike the Situation.

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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What do you get when you cross chocolate pudding with your mother's slippers? A spanking.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Why did the house burn down? Obama

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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orange -banana and lemon say....... i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i want to eat u (RANDOMZZZZZ)

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

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There are two muffins in an oven. The first muffin says, "Is it just me, or is it getting hot in here?". The second one says, "Hey, look! A talkin' muffin!".

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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