Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the food supply was scarce

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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What's fun and challenging? Writing an anti-joke.

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How do you starve a black man? Tell welfare to cancel food stamps

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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Where did Suzy go during the bombing? Everywhere

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What do you do when you see a black man limping in your yard? You invite him inside, ask him what happened, and possibly call an ambulance if, God forbid, the situation is that serious.

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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So, theoretically, if we controlled the media, what would be different then?

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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why was the man scared of the tree because it was shady

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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