What color is red paint? Red

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I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

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What did the boy say to the girl seductively eating a banana? A: bananas are my favorite fruit

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Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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Q:What do you call Black Jesus ? A:Black Jesus a.w. j.p.

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Tim: Hey Jennifer, do you wanna hear a joke? Jennifer: Okay Tim: Knock knock Jennifer: Who's there Tim: It's me Tim, you idiot

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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I ran in to Hitler. "Hey, Hitler, what's up?" I asked. "Well, this time I am going to kill 6 million Jews and 2 clowns." "Two clowns?" I ask. "Why two clowns?" "See!" He exclaimed. "No one cares about the Jews!"

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What is yellow and bright? The sun.

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A seal walks into a club...and is taken in custody by animal control due to the club having a no animal policy.

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So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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What is the difference between a pumpkin and a dead baby? There are thousands of differences between a dead human and the fruit of a pumpkin plant. One of them is that I didn't choke my wife to death with a pumpkin. Another is that pumpkins have a stem.

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like if u think princess kenny id the fairest maiden in all the land. if u havent played or watched pewdiepie play south park the stick of truth, disregard this message.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What else is new?

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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How do you start a fire in the woods? Call Cole Ryder!

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Why did the surrealist go to the doctor? Knock Knock.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Bailiffs.

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Why was the Chinese Man mistaken for the other Chinese Man? They were twins.

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Lets Go Lakers!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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