I popped my head over my sexy neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini. "Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR." "Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?" "No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."

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Why did the baby die? Because he got shot in the head repeatedly.

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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womens rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Whats orange and sounds like a parrot? a carrot

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, no pun in ten won the contest. The man didn't think much of it.

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Why can't helen Keller read? She's dead.

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Hitler, a Nazi, and a Jew walk into a bar. Only Hitler and the Nazi walk out. What happened to the Jew? He had to use the bathroom so he asked Hitler and his Nazi friend to wait in the car.

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why did the mexican choose to work as a landscaper instead of at taco bell? landscaping pays much better and was a more practical decision in this economy to support his family of 13.

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cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

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What do you get when you cross a leopard with a camel? Sacked from the zoo.

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What did God say when he saw the first black man? What a wonderful creation I have made.

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What do you call a tub full of water? A bathtub!

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What happened to the soccer player when he got kicked in the leg..... He cried on the ground for hours even though there is padding there

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead black man on the road? One's a dog and one is a man, but more importantly the differences shouldn't be noted in a miserable occasion such as this as both are unfortunate tragedies. Also, one has a big dick.

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Q:Baby, baby, baby, oooh A:Thats what she said.

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Roses are red Violets are blue Wrong. Violets should be purple.

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- Why Mexicans have small steering wheels in their cars? - Because of this they are able to drive a car in handcuffs.

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Q: What do you get when you cross a cactus and a platypus? A: I was wondering the same thing.

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Haikus are easy but some of them don't make sense but some of them do

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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