Why scooby-doo likes cookies? Because he's chub!

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What did one tree say to the other? "Hey Phil, how's it going?

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What happens to a black man when he jumps into a pool of clorox? He turns white!

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What happened to the man who posted yet another repeated joke on anti joke? Nothing. He posted an old joke that everyone has seen a form of already.

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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Why was the dog crying? Do dogs even cry?

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Why did the Middle east send Doris a camel's penis? Because Uncle Monty's head was damn tasty

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Fart

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A walks out of a bar and the joke is cut off by a-

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Whats black and has white cream in it? Oreos

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What was Tyler's last name? Grzesik.

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Why did the black man go to prison? He committed a crime that had a penalty of several years in the state penitentiary.

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what do you say to the preacher when he walks into church? i dont fu***** know, im jewish.

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eden stop

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A horse, an apple, a leprechaun and a black man walk into a bar. They sit down and order drinks. The bartender looks at them and say "what is this, a joke?"

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why can stevie wonder drive? He's blind

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How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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