What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What did the jobless man get for Christmas? Fired...

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a three toed 9 foot man. His name.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Knock knock Who there? A mute Bullshit

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Okay, are you a tree? A: No, no I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Where was little Sara when the bomb went off? Everywhere. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" Sara's hands

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the only thing more horrible than trash can full of dead babies? A live one at the bottom. What's more horrible than that? He has to eat his way out. What's more horrible than that? He goes back for more. What's more horrible than that? This all took place in my garage while I was watching.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the brown guy say to the black person when he got fired? Nothing, did you think this was going to be racist or something?!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

If life throws you melons, either catch them or get out of he way to avoid injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock, Knock!! Who's there?! The Police!! Open the f*cking door and get down on your knees.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: What's pink and fuzzy? A: Pink Fuzz...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are black violets are black We are all black?! SHIT IM COLOUR BLIND

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops