Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

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How did the boyfriend react when the girlfriend told him she was pregnant? Nothing.. He already changed his number and packed up his things and moved out of the state

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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"Sh*t!" cursed the man. "You're such a potty mouth!" replied the unamused toilet.

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Why is it so bad that the bus fell off the cliff? All my friends were on it.

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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Why does Sally sell sea shells down by the sea shore? To support her growing crack addiction that is ruining Sally's and Sally's families lives

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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My parents died!

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What did the Protoss player say when he lost to a Terran player? I concede defeat. You simply have a greater mastery over the game than I.

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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what do u call a black person by his name

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What's worse than watching 5 homeless men have an orgy? Waking up and having to clean the sheets

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. And a tree. And a lamp.

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What's red, fast, and flies through the air? A tomato in a plane.

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When I grow up, I don't want to be a therapist. I have enough trouble figuring out the problems in my math book.

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Facebook How i met my mother

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops