There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

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What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

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how did i know i had a new puppy?...... i found out when i was scraping it off my truck tire

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What do you call a Chinese person with a computer for a head? Dead because it is impossible for your heart to function with out a brain

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

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Two children decide to bury a time capsule in their backyard and open it 5 years later. They then break into tears realizing they have no backyard because they are orphans. They are now orange.

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What do you call a gay couple with jobs and a kid?? Responsible.

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You see how lame this is?

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Why did the bird fall. Its tree got cut down.

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What do you call Mexicans who go to jail? Criminals.

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Why was the black man arrested? He was tried and convicted in a court of law for being an accessory to murder.

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

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what do you call a monkey? a monkey

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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A man walks into a bar He drinks the night away with his friends *Plot Twist* It was a dream He has no friends.

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Whats numbing and smells like burning toast? A stroke.

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Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

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Son: Mommy, Mommy can i have a cookie! Mom:Sure Honey there on the top shelf Son:But mommy i have no arms Mom:No arms, No cookies

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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Guy 1: Hey, did you hear about this blind guy who went bungee jumping off a bridge? Guy 2: No, what happened? Guy 1: He couldn't see Jack!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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