wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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How the hell did Susie get on the swing anyway I don't know you tell me?

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I heard you like playing basketball at night. My ears are fully functional in comprehension of human language and therefore I am able to listen and remember words that are told by others.

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knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Why did Tesco not serve a black guy? Because he just happen to be holding a gun

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

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170

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It didn't, a cookie is a food, therefore it doesn't have working organs.

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

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Q. Where do snowmen keep their money? A. A snowman is an anthropomorphic snow sculpture made of frozen water. They therefore cannot earn, keep or have any use for money.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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