Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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Knock, knock Who's there? Man Man who? The man who is knocking. Now open the door Carl!

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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learn the ropes?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Three Jews get on a train to Stockholm. How many get off at Stockholm. None. The train went straight to Auschwitz.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Why was the pirate not allowed into the movie? tickets were sold out

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I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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What did the ginger say to the blond? Hello, what is your name?

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What does DNA stand for? The National Dyslexic Association

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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I used to tell people: step on my foot on purpose and ill FUCKlNG BREAK YOURS! Then I Evolved.. friendly r*pist neighbourhood Moral Man: Thumb me down or step on my foot if only on mistake, and I will break off both your legs and ram them up your ASS!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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