Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Q. How many Jews can you fit in a blender ? A. 37 but you can try and prove me wrong

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Homonyms should be band.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did Osama Bin-Laden say on 9/11? JENGA!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What do u do when life gives u lemons?? Eat them

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimers Roses are red Violets are blue Cabbage

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's old and has wet pants? My grandma with a bladder problem

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

why did the Mexican shoot himself? because his wife miscarried, hung herself, and his oldest brother had cancer. also when he was 5, his parents died in a car accident, leaving his abusive uncle to care for him. he also had erectile dysfunction which caused him severe pain. did i mention he was an illegal, homeless immigrant who was addicted to methamphedimine and owed several million dollars to a man who repeatedly raped him anally? he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's hard and orange on the outside, and squidgy in the middle? A tanned man's head

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, speaking to a bird would have been considered highly irregular, bordering on insane. He left the bird alone, until the time came to slaughter the bird and take it's nutritious meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

whats black and has many friends? a kind sociable black person

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

thumb_up thumb_down -18

all hail based mark

thumb_up thumb_down -18

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

thumb_up thumb_down -18

i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You mothers so ghetto, you died.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops