Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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Your Mommy is a gas pump.

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What makes boys so stupid? They like to play with girls' hearts and break them until they spew out blood all over the place.

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Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

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Why is Kony so mean? He used to date your mom.

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Girl: That's pretty big. Boy: That's what she said. Woman: Yes, I enjoys large genitals.

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So, how 'bout that airline food?

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Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

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Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is an overused joke on a kid's cartoon. Thank me later.

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If you're paddling upstream in a canoe and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes fit in a doghouse? None! Ice cream doesn't have bones!

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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roses are red and violets are blue and i was going to write something that rimes but that is not funny here.

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When life gives you lemons, you should be wondering how "life" managed to give you those lemons.

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An astronaut walks into a bar. He orders a beer. After waiting for about 1 and a half minutes he receives his beer. The bartender says it was 3 dollars. The astronaut checks his wallet and finds no money so he pays with credit card. The bartender swipes his credit card but the card doesn't work. So the astronaut takes out his debit card. When the bartender swipes the debit card it worked. In relief the astronaut looks at the bartender and says "Thank you" and then goes home.

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Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

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Why did the hockey cross the road? To get to KFC.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Justin Beiber

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You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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What do you call a white hankerchief dipped into the red sea? Wet.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

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What did the orphan get christmas? CANCER

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Why do I write Anit-jokes. Because I'm very bad at delevering good punchlines. They generally fall flat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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