The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Is your plant made out of Osmium, Molybdenum, Silicon and Sulfur? Because it's going through OsMoSiS. That was just a joke, not a pick up line. Unless I was giving a pick-up line to your plant, which I definitely wasn't...

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all hail based mark

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i bought a knock-knock joke book, and was unamused.

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Why did Martian Luther King climb the mountain? Because there was a KFC on top

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What was the difference between an Irishmen and a apple? Alot.

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What's red, blue, and purple? purple.

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How did Chinese people get their names? They throw their pots and pans down the stairs. It says, "CHING CHANG CHONG!!!"

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is this the krusty krab? no this is smooth lobster.

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You mothers so ghetto, you died.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Your pathetic humanity. Deux. Dios Gud God etc. Moral: You cannot even translate the name of his very being correctly, and you expect the bible to be translated right... Laught now, because I shall silence you soon enough...

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What's the worst way to die? Alone.

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life is like a box of chocolates, it sucks if you have diabetes

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why did the kid with no legs get eaten by wolves? he couldn't get away

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The guy didn't respond because he was deaf.

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Why do women go to the bathroom together? To clean their filthy pussies.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree? Cause its dead!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Michael Jackson!

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Catholicism.

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9/11

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You were supposed to die 12 seconds ago....

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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