What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Knock knock. Who's there? Heisenberg...

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You come across a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. Why are you telling a joke? Go make sex.

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A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar and ask the bartender for a drink, but in response the bartender politely points out that there are probably people in need of their assistance at their respective place of warship.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: babies lack the intelligence and motor skills to accomplish such a task so it is not practical to hire them for a painting job.

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How do you change you dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

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Q: If you are running a race and a fridge hits you, how many dogs play x-box in the snow? A: 12 orange waffles

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Once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book. As he started the book, he said ''once apon a time, a man read a book ... it goes on forever. Epilogue: the man and son eventually died because a microphone swallowed a frog. THE END P.S.: I didn't close the quotations. P.S.#2: I don't know what ''P.S. stands for. P.S.#3: I didn't close the quotation again.

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Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

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What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

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What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage..

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Why can't black people be astronauts? Institutionalized racism.

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Why couldn't the duck fly? It died.

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Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Why was the kid crying Cuz there was a frog stapled to his head

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Q: What was Steve Jobs' last words before he died? A: I Think i might die.

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Your momma's so stupid that she was declared mentally retarded by her doctors.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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