(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? Because it tastes good.

What's the difference between a Watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer, the other is a watermelon.

How do you make a blond to shoot herself? You give her a gun and than ask her to pull the trigger.

Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

The ULTIMATE Street Fighter shotokan safety guide one Turbo masters tournament X Revenge Kombat Super Ultimate Alpha Omega F*** Y** Edition! 1. I case an attack breaks both your legs, use your last remaining strength in order to kick the air with one leg, while keeping the other one straight down, then immediatedly yell MYLEGSARBROKEN! In order to receive medical attention. And please remember: If Hadou can, then you Sure can! 2. DLC ONLY 3 DLC ONLY 4. DLC Only. ...hayball rolls trough... 9001: DLC only

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's brown, sticky and crawls up your leg? A homesick poo.

yo momma is so poor that she may not be abe to accumulate the right amount of revenue necessary for your college funding.

How many black people does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they already stole them all.

Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

How many Jews fit in an oven? Nein

Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

What's a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick

the best thing about an anti-joke is when the punch line doesn't hit you, you feel no pain

How many dead babies can you fit in my car? None, I don't allow anyone to put dead babies in my car.

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

carn ehney bodie hellp mie with mine smellings?

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

Wat do u call black circus clwon a bad comedian

-Can I ask you one question? -Yes. -Thank you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to KFC for his job interview

A sad horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" the horse answers "My wife was just diagnosed with terminal cancer."

Mario walks into a bar A yak walks into a bar An orange walks into a bar 30 men barf in a juicy yot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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