One day i woke up, and found my wife dead on the floor. lol.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Knock knock Who's there Never mind

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What's worse than the holocaust? Another holocaust.

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What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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What did the monkey say after its tail was run over by a lawnmower? It won't be long now.

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tims sty:)

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

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Why don't jews believe in Jesus Because jews believe Jesus Christ was not their savior

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What looks like donuts but stinks of shit. Sean Big Macs socks

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Why did the girl fall off her bike? I threw a ball at her.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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