whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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Arron Glass

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Why was the baby going so fast? It was tied to a bus.

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5

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what is worse than a pile of dead babies? the one on the bottom trying to eat its way out of a pile of babies that have been poisoned.

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What happens when Chuck Norris jumps off the 3rd floor. He falls to the ground and hurts himself badly

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Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technologically advanced age that we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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A rabbi, a nun, a priest, a hooker, a stripper, 2 secret servicemen, a teacher, a midget, a ginger, a rodeo clown, a nascar driver, a homosexual native american, a heterosexual native american, 2 portuguese tuba players, an african american taxi driver, a blind man, his seeing eye dog, a bartender, 2 minor league baseball players, 3 lesbian mexican salsa dance instructors and a dwarf are all in a bar. They all had a good time and the teacher and one ol the portuguese tuba players ended up becoming facebook friends.

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Roses are red, Sometimes they're thorny, When I'm around you, I get kind of Horny

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

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Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

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What do you call a deaf man? It would be unwise to call him anything, as he would have difficulty hearing you.

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Why did the elephant cross the river? CAUSE YOLO (even though he died)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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