Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had previously been in a car accident, in which all of her close family died and she was the only survivor. Since both her arms were stuck in between crushed components of the car, they had to be amputated on the spot. She was testing out the prosthetic arms she had been given when they failed, causing her to get a concussion, and putting her in a coma for the rest of her life.

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he was black

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Knock Knock Who's There? God God who.....wait REALLY? No Dave, this is a hallucination, and your peeing right now.

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A fat man takes a crap, it looked like something a rhino would curl out.

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Where's Justin Beiber? With his girlfriend.

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Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

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Why did the Mexican wait outside Home Depot all day? He was hoping to be hired as day-labor to provide for his family.

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What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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Knock Knock Who's there? A package, the UPS man is already back in his truck.

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What do you call a black man and a white woman who are married? A married couple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. Knock knock? Whos there? the Chicken.

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Want to hear a joke? I'm sorry.

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A horse walks into a bar why the long face? I have aids

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whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Sarah Palin walks into a bar and the bartender tells her to get the f*&k out.

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

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wanna hear a joke? katie chandler

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Justin Bieber.

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Why was the wife not in the kitchen? The husband's gay.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Why did the bartender tell the black man to "Get Out"? It was 4 a.m and the bar closed at 3:30 a.m an honest mistake by the man.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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