What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

Your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you're just a figment of my imagination.\

Tony Blair, Micheal Jordan, Fabrice Muamba, Aunty Josephine, Nick Clegg, David Cameron, and myself all go out for drinks.

What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

Whats gay and has wheels? Alex Egbert, I lied about the wheels

Why did the bear stick his head in the honey comb? He wanted honey.

Why was the little Jewish girl sad? Because neo-Nazis killed her family.

Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

What is the easiest way to babysit a black kid? Find an activity that you can both relate to and enjoy. Hopefully after doing this for a while, the youngster will become tired and fall asleep. You can then watch TV, read or talk on your cell phone until his or her parents get home.

Knock knock. Who's there? Your doorbell is broken.

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

A man ingested a hamburger. It proved fatal due to a tomato allergy.

A sheep goes up to to a horse and asks "Does you speak sheep?".The horse replies ''Neigh''.

How Do Bulls Drive Cars? They cant, they have hooves making it impractical for a Bull to Drive a car.

What happens when you put a cat in an oven? Don't, because it will die.

Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

oliver is gay. so much so that he has hex with other men and dosent mind it very much

Why did the panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second panda fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first panda. Why did the third panda fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the fourth panda fall out of the tree? Peer pressure. -BG_Shank_A

What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

iff god whas funny why thit he let your mother be raped and your sister murdered en iff satan whos a ice cream will he taste sweet ?

Why was 6 afraid of 7? He wasn't because he wasn't capable of having emotions after he fell into a coma and died 10 months ago after a severe car crash involving a drunk driver. The believed driver,3 had a blood alcohol of .26 and rear ended 6's car at 60 mph. 3 was uninjured and promptly arrested but....6 wasn't so lucky. The doctors said there was no chance of him coming back and they pulled the plug.He was only 9 days away from his 32nd birthday. The funeral was held shortly after, 7 seemed the most upset and couldn't hold back the tears well enough to make it through the whole service. The family is now forever scarred. In Loving Memory of 6 February 22,1982-February 13,2014 Loving father, Caring husband, Forever in our hearts

What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did Sarah Palin say as she gazed to the West? "I really wish my daughter hadn't gotten pregnant."

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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