Why did the chicken cross the road? It had just escaped from the slaughterhouse and ran for its life.

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"Ask me if I'm a banana." "Are you a banana?" "No."

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A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one. He might have trouble focusing, but his ADHD in no way prevents him from completing such a task.

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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What did the adverb say to the noun? Hopefully whale.

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Tim tebow is the anti christ

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Having a refrigerator fall on you

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So a gay guy walks in a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind, get out." The gay says he will drink in the corner. Later, a construction worker walks into the bar. He says," Man, I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat off a cows balls." The gay guy in the corners says," Mooooooooo."

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rosses are red violets are blue poems are hard alligator

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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What did the boy say to the Vietnam veteran? Where are your legs?

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Yo Momma's so fat she has Type 1 Diabetes.

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A priest walks into a bar, which is suprising because priests don't usually go to bars.

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How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Lady Gaga has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. What is it? A last name.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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