Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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what du u call a aplle raisni in the hotr sun? graep duahahahahahahejejejejejejahahahejejejwyan

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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You are in a sealed room with Joseph Stalin, Osama bin Laden, and Hitler and have a revolver with two bullets. Who do you shoot? None of them. You awkwardly set the gun down and wonder how to get out of this room filled with three corpses.

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A potato walked into a bar and ordered a large bowl of french fries

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How do you make a dead baby float? Ice cream, root beer, and a dead baby.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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Q: How many children did it take to screw in a light bulb? A: The light bulb was already screwed in and exploded after excessive tampering

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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how many people does it take to take over the world aperently just 1 me

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what did the anorexic girl eat today? nothing..

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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I asked a girl on a date. She said no.

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Did you hear about the 4'10" psychic that escaped from prison? It's on the news! "Small Medium At Large."

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Q: Why doesn't the young lady speak very much? A: Because she's a whore

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What do you call a barrel full of monkeys? A game, you idiot.

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what do you call a a miget crossed with a vampire? A miget, vampires are a figment of you're screwed up imagination.

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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What did the fish say when it hit a wall? Nothing. Fish cannot talk.

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i put a oie in the oven, it baked

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Why did the boy have a rash? He didn't, it was a birthmark.

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What is the difference between a lion and a tiger? A lion ,on average, weighs 31 kilograms more.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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