Why did the old lady have a heart attack? She got raped by a giraffe.

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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So a moose walks into a grocery store and asks the clerk, who is a penguin, "Where's the bread?" And the penguin says "On isle three!" But, when the moose gets to isle three... The bread isn't there!

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Why are they the "living" daylights?

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

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What is hotter than a lightbulb. The Sun.

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What did the man say to the jew? How are jew?

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In Soviet Russia, the political system was very different than it is today.

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almost as accidental as your spelling im afraid

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Q: what's do the following sports have in common?: baseball, football, tennis, golf? A: They all have balls in their sport.

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hi im tom. whats your name? joe. hi im tom. whats your name? joe... tom has short term memory loss.

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As a stand-up comedian, I've been really interested in how comedians have recovered from jokes not hitting making fun of the fact. Recently, I was in a situation where a rhetorical question didn't hit, and anti-joking (lamenting on the lack of a punchline sarcastically) ended up generating the laugh I needed to move on! Hurray for Anti-jokes! Me: You know the gym Extreme Fitness? Audience: SILENCE Me: (sarcastically) Yes, exactly. That's exactly how that interaction went in my mind when I was practising at home. I ask question - audience responds euphorically - I continue with my joke... http://michaeljagdeo.wordpress.com/2012/01/29/anti-jokes-how-to-recover-when-a-joke-doesnt-hit/

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Did you hear the one about the HIV positive man that got rear-ended on the highway? The motorist behind him was distracted on his cell phone, and did not hit the breaks in time to stop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If i gave a rats ass I'd worry about you

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

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The Definition of Megan Bates 800 Hamburgers

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Hey guess what? What? I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you're mom died. I lied about the good news.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your mother is dead.

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Where do 5 gay guys go????? One Direction.

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UP

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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