Why was the boy drinking toilet water? Because he was receiving a violent swirly. He then went home and killed himself.

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What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

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Roses are red, Violets are violet

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My computer will die soon, and my life is a lie. Refrigerator.

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- Do you want to hear a joke? - No. - Ok.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

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Q. Whats long and and can drip out fluids? a tap.

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Why did Lance Armstrong lose the race? Which race?

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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I'm an old man with Alzheimer's. Ok I'm going to tell you a little story. Well i was walking down the road bout 36 sum odd years ago and the next thing i knew i was........... Hmmm.... i wonder whats in the fridge...

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Q: Why couldnt the kid feel his legs A: He had no arms

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Why didn't the man go to work? He got stabbed.

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Q. When you drink two 5 hour energies, do you get 10 hours of energy or double the energy for 5 hours? A. You die

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Girl: How do I know if I'm Jewish? Guy: Are you Jewish? Girl: No. Guy: There ya go.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, Ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What did the blind man say to the bartender? Nothing, I forgot to mention he's also mute and has no legs.

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Christianity

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Sammi suck kyles chode

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Why are the new york knicks called the new york knicks.? no one gives a crap

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Can you pass the soda? Sure.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have boobs and so do you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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