roses are red violets are blue your friend is a scumbag and so are you

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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A women walks into a kitchen.

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Knock, knock Who's there? You... and you just lost the game. -Eka

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A women's opinion.

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What is worse than blue balls for a guy? Depending on the girl, absolutely nothing. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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GUESS WHAT ?????????? THATS WHAT CAOMHIN

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Q: What do you get when you put a boy and a girl together in a locked room? A: Blood and gore.

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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Tip for Employers: Avoid hiring unlucky people by immediately tossing half the resumes into the bin.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at him.

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why was the gay person gay? he liked penis in his bum.

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For New Years I want to spend more time with my... Video Games

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? It didnt say anything, the male said to the female "i like pickles."

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Fish.

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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dyslexia is like gingervitus except they are exactly alike in possible little ways with gigantic raging boners CC

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A black man and a white man and a chinese man are sitting together: Cultural Diversity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops