why did the chicken cross the road it was being chased by the man from the chicken slaughter house.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Roses are red violets are blue tulips are purple/pink

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a chicken walks into a cafe, where it is swiftly caught, killed, plucked ,and served with stuffing and all for £5.99

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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The audience was ready, the stage was set, as soon as the show ended, the actors applauded towards the audience shouting ENCORE! The audience paid and went home, then they suddenly went... HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SCENARIO!? They cared so much about one another, that they wanted to fall in love with each other. Now that is true love that is not love people! Nerometal (Ironically my name is Nero, I bet the Neronism guys name is Dwayne Maskdork or something, seriously...)

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JUSTIN BIEBER PERFUME!

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Why did the blonde turn red Because some one lit her on fire

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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Chinese men having large penis.

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Why was the man sad? Because he found his 80 year old mother had been raped and murdered in her home...

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? no eyed dear what do you call a dear with no head? dead!

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why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a porsche? i don't have i dead baby in my garage. That would be wrong

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Peter

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i keep getting thumbs down...

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Who did the man call when his house was on fire? He called his mother as the firefighters put out the fire.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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whats blue and can fly? a red robin i lied about being blue By RT so u believe me

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink then walks out of the bar ...

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What did Canada say to America? We will not become apart of the United States where people are known as Fat Nascar lovin hicks!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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