Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

What's black, smoking, and sitting at the top of the stairs? Steven Hawking after a house fire.

You know what they call men who make kitchen jokes? Single.

Q: what r u eating under there? A: underwear ewww thats nasty

Knock Knock Who's there? Me!! .... me who? Just open the motherf***ing door!! MOM!?! Theres a rapist at the door. MOM: No Jimmy, thats your father

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

Is your refrigerator running. Yes. Good, then I don't need to call an electrician.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

Ask me if i am a tree? "Are you a tree" No.

Rebecca Black and Justin Bieber get married.... Friends and family attend the wedding

Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

Q: Why did the black guy cross the road? A: Hell, I don't know. He probably stole something.

Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

Knock Knock Who's there? Orange

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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