Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

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Nice belt.

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What's more depressing than watching a worm watching to worms

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What's funnier than Justin Bieber dying in a car accident? Nicky Minaj being in the same car.

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Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

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What's hard, long and full of seamen? an erect penis.

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Q: what do u call a hotdog that's not cooked? A:a raw hot dog

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A plane is falling out of the sky, and there is a Priest, a little boy, Obama and a rock star. There are 4 parachutes and everyone jumps out safety.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a chicken An animal cruelty charge

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poop

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what did lois call peter when she first saw him? i dont dont know do you?

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Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

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A man walks into a bar. Then he yelled and held his head in pain. :) www.youtube.com/c/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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Obamacare

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why did the black man die? the man bled out, and doctors did everything they could.

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Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

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A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

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Q. What does physiks sound to most of the people? A. There were two camels, one was green, how much does the sand weight when its dark?

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whats red and and has 202 legs? an ostrich, ok i lied about 200 legs and the red part

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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