I really don't like Holocaust jokes. My grandfather died in the Holocaust. He fell off of a guard tower.

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A dog walk into a bar, and the bartender asks, "What"ll it be?" The dog then breaks into tears as he realizes the bartender is his father's gay husband.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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How do dogs mark their territory? With legal documents.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Chrismas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it's in a chicken coop.

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What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Lucas talks to mom she says hi

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Your mom is so fat, that when she stepped on the scale she was disappointed with the number that appeared.

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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Aaaaakkkkkiiiiiinnnnfffffeeeeennnnnwwwwaaaa

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your mums so fat that shes HUGE!!!!

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

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When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

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Crowded elevator smell different to midget-Confucius say.

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? a pizza does not have a heart

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He had nobody to go with :)

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Why wasn't Jesus born in Poland? Because if he's an actual historical figure he would have been born in modern day Palestine.

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Do you speak alien? Hola.

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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Roses are red Violets are blue That's what they tell me Because I'm blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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