- Anti Joke

She look like Ms. Universe and I'm bout to be in that black hole

Whats wrong with that Nothing

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

Your dick is short, If we compare it to mine. That was it, Thank you for your time.

I forgot my joke about gamblers, but i bet you would have loved it!

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. I don't know, I've had a bad day, I can't think straight. Why do you keep asking me these questions? Always talking at me, everyday it's the same - why can't you just shut up?! I would be better off dead, then it would stop, this suffocating blackness. I need to escape...I'm going to do it tonight...pills, something like that...I don't care any longer. Goodbye.

Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

a black man and a squirrel get hit on two different roads what's the difference? well for starters theyre two different species. a squirrel is much smaller than a human and has his own mark on society. the man will be missed dearly by his family and if the impact with the car wasnt bad, he may have a chance to make it out alive at the hospital. the squirrel however is not so lucky. it will be left to die on the street or would have died on impact already with sadly no squirrel hospital to tend to it.

Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

Q: Why was the man upset? A: He was kidnapped. Two cruel men tied him to a chair in an unknown location. This man was mistaken for someone who was planning to steal a big drug shipment. They beat him unmerciful, shocked him, and hit him in the head with a hammer, and threw him out in the street, with the belief of his death occurring. A driver stopped to help the man into the nearby hospital. The man was questioned about the physical appearance and whereabouts of these criminals. He remembered nothing, and sadly, they got away with this horrible crime.

how do you wake up lady gaga? you set her alarm for the intended time

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimers, Cheese on toast.

What do you call a baby that fell in lava Dead

Cover myself in Vaseline and cry in the dark for 4, maybe 5 hours with or without a wooden splintery dildo in my arse..”

Leading a hike.. Kid falls off a cliff and dies. Who cleans him up? Bear.

Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

Yo mama so fat, i rolled over twice and i still on that bitch.

Q: Did you hear the joke about the deaf kid? A: Neither did he.

What's worse than kissy face pictures on facebook? The porn pictures on facebook.

Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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