Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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I was walking down the street the other day and I saw this lady and suddenly: POTATOES!!!!!!!!!

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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the holocaust

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How did the drug addict die? He got shot in a drive-by.

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Who gets more action than my best friend Reese? My raped cousin....

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

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Q: If it takes a chicken a day and a half to lay an egg and a half, then how long would it take a monkey to kick the seeds off of a dill pickle. A: I don't know. That's a stupid question.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis!

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why was the clown sad? died of cancer and left his loving family to fend for themselves in this cruel, cruel world.

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Yo mama so fat , when she went to the doctors office and stepped on the scale they said please, your weight, not your phone number .

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Yo mammas so stupid she has a profound intellectual disability.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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What does a Jew do when he finds money on the street? He picks it up and is probably happy it was there.

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Why was the girl so stupid? She had mental retardation caused my Down Syndrome.

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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Why couldn't the elephant ride the bike? Because it didn't have a thumb to ring the bell!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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