A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters. People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER." The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how he had done it. "I knew it had to be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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Q: How many black people came KFC on June 31st? A: None because June 31st doesn't exist.

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Your mother is so overweight that she decided to have liposuction and then proceeded to live a wonderful life.

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What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

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monkeys that understand what people say dont understand what people say because they understand CC

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But then it wouldn't be an anti joke ya bellendo

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So a rouge names creampiiemaker was walking in the vast lands of the arathi basin when a night elf druid with 585 stan and a resil rating of 6750 asked yo bro you wanna duel, the rogue asked with a grin on his face if the night elf was kidding, they then shook hands and went out to gold shire, village and dined on porridge made from the finest vendor, they then warsonged it up all night for mad honor points and got lap dances in gold shire tavern.

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A man walks into a bar The bar now has a hole in it.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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Chuck Norris Dies.

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what did the asian father say to his son after getting a c+ on a test? son you are working hard and i know you will do well

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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What did the Asian man say to the African man Ching Chang Chong

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What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

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whats brown and smells like poop? poop.

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You know what makes me smile? Face muscles

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unless he's a witch doctor, then you'll need an apple and some ayaheusca. The fractal dream will destroy time and space as consciousness returns upon itself at times end

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? One is a devotee of the torah, one is a delicious meal.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Can't Sing, Or Ryhme

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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