Why couldn't the old man see? Because he was stabbed in the eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did god say when he made the first african american? "I got about 3 more humans to go and about 400,000,000 more insects and plants"..

thumb_up thumb_down +1

#Cutforbieber - Cole g.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did little timmy cry? He was nailed to a ceiling fan.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the kid drop his ice cream? because he got ran over by a bus! (not a original, just funny)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How does Ron Weasley greet Harry in the morning? Mornin' Horry, how did ghe' sleep?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Do you speak alien? Hola.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What was 6 affraid of 7? because 7 was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the plane crash. its pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's the square root of everything. F**K LOGIC

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you survive a tornado? You dont.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do the Kardashians change a light bulb? They buy a new mansion

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, well at least they were, until I met you!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

brittney griner

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many Lepers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? People with leprosy should not be doing general house keeping.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why are asians good at math? A: Because they study with their tutor every tuesday

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin mobile XD

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops