Knock Knock Who's there? Ada! Ada who? Ada burger for lunch!

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Last night, I went fishing, caught a fish, brought it home, grilled it, ate it, and went to bed.

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What do you do when your archenemy walks up to you? Kill them due to their vulnerability, I mean they walked up to you...

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once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

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yo mumma is so smelly i can distictly smell her more than her perfume

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how do you get blondes to drown? stick a mirror to the bottom of the pool

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Q: What's the difference between between basketballs and babies? A: I don't shoot basketballs.

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What is the difference between a black man and a Chevrolet? They didn't sell Chevrolets in the 1800s.

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Je veux avoir des relations sexuelles avec toi.

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What does a homeless man get for his birthday? 25 cents

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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The other day a man came to my door. After I opened it, he told me, "I'm sorry, your mother is dead." He paused, then said, "Just kidding." "Actually," I told him, "my mom died two years ago of natural causes." He turned around and left, and I closed the door. All in all, it was a very confusing situation, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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Why did Jimmy never like old people? Because he was abused as a child by one.

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know chickens are absent minded creatures that can aimlessly walk around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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