What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

Why did the beach ball pop? Because it stepped on a sharp chocolate chip cookie!

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

Here's a joke for u Hahaha suck on it I wasnt going to make u laugh o yea ur mom died

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

why couldn't the little girl play on the swing? Matty Russel was chasing her

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

What was the pirate movie rated? It was rated R for its graphic depiction of the continuing violence in Somalia.

if you read this you are gay

Want to hear a funny joke? Sure. Women's Rights. That's not even a joke. You don't get it. It's not even a sentence.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure.

What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

Baman: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? Piderman: What? Baman: They're all gone!

What do you call a man who stole from a thief? A thief, no matter whom you are stealing from the consequences are dire.

Wanna here a joke? Womens rights

A man enters a bar, and says: "It is impossible to drown in an elevator" This is incorrect.

Three a man is trapped on a desert island and a genie offers to grant him one wish. The man accepts the existence of the genie and then wishes for unlimited wishes for the rest of his life. The man takes over the world.

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

Arron Glass

What's black, and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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