Arsonist: Hey, did you listen to my mixtape? ... It's really good.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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Nah, its fine, I just went to get a popsicle, and its square, so don't get any ideas. Honestly? When I first met "some jerk" calling himself Nero here, I began calling myself Nero, because I thought that the jerk that turned out to be you, Nero himself, sigh. was screwing over his own reputation. But now I realize that what makes you who you are, is that you say whats on your mind without going "oh no what will others think about me, what if this or that happens", you accept yourself for who you are, and if the rest do not, well screw them right? As you told me at first and proved to me during our conversations, you respect and value individuality and integrity. And well, you are a guy, you think like a guy (I honestly dont think we girls think that differently, we are simply socially indoctrinated or "engineered" in order to think that we do), I mean let me say something really honest here. Nero, I only dare say this once, so take me seriously I really want you to fuck me, and yeah, I may say that when we meet too, considering I have not even said it yet, just in my head... Anyway, its not something I am insecure about nor ever was and blahblahblah, the end, oh, and yeah, I really want and need a friend like you.

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What happened to the peanut who went to New York City? He got a-salted

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Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Why is Jem no longer a cartoon? Because they all died from toxic hairspray.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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A man goes to Church he meets God nothing happens

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What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

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Your mother is so good in the kitchen that we all asked for a second helping.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

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Justin Bieber.

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When is homework not homework? When it is turned into the teacher.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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How many dead lions can feed a bluejay? Bluejays don't eat dead or living lions, so this is highly improbable.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

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An impolite guy walks into a bar... and doesn't apologize to the bar.

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What do you call two black guys flying a plane? Pilots.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He was on a walk with his owner so they used a crosswalk to safely get back home.

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What's the longest, hardest thing on a black man? His femur.

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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