What's green and has wheels? Dave Matthew's Band

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the cow say to the bull. they had kids because they shared an interest in being silent.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

you want to hear a joke? the goverment.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

No, I still have to make sense of some facts bits and pieces here, and thinking is pretty much the only thing I can do at this moment, so why would my doppelganger wannabe call me from her mothers place?

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +192

Roses are red Violets are blue I have AIDS and now you do too!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the policeman arrest the black man? He had commited a crime and murdered somebody.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ted Haggard.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you torture Helen Keller? Waterboarding.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the penis rape the vagina, because it felt good!

thumb_up thumb_down -10

There is an Asian, an American, and a Mexican on a falling plane. The pilot announces that the plane is plummeting out of the sky and says that he needs to drop the cargo. The pilot drops the cargo but the plane is too heavy still. The pilot tells the passengers to drop some personal belongings. The Asian drops rice, the Mexican drops his guns, and the American throws the Mexican and yells "Remember the Alamo!".

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the man on a business trip to Japan say to his wife on the phone? The nuclear reactor in the next city over is melting down as we speak. If I don't see you again, I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She didn't pass her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

An American guy, Chinese guy, and Black guy are on a boat. Who jumps off first? Hopefully no one jumps off, especially because the ocean current is strong. They should call the coast guard if they are lost and find a safe way back to shore.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you keep a mexican from drowning? Take your foot off the back of his head.

thumb_up thumb_down -153

Why did the girl pee her pants? She was only 1 month old...

thumb_up thumb_down -161

how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

thumb_up thumb_down -163

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops