An Irishman walked into a pub and ordered a pint. He had planned to just have one but ended up having two since he'd had a rough day at work. His wife was slightly annoyed that he came home smelling of beer.

OneBigAssMistakeAmerica

What's The Difference Between a Chicken and a Human. Well a Chicken Is A Chicken and a Human Is a Human.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Whats plastic and phonie a phone

Why did the teenager write a joke on here? Because after hours of surfing this website and casually laughing at herself she realized she had no life and the only way to feel happy with her self would be submitting her own to here.

Why did the wiener dog fight the cock. Because it was a cock-fight.

A black guy and a white girl are walking toward each other in a dark alley. Which one takes off his/her clothes first? The black guy as he is closer to home and therefore closer to his bathroom where he took a shower after a hard day's work.

What does Rubens Barrichelo does with his F1 championship trophies? He never got one.

What do you do when you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologize.

knock knock who's there? Kallie Kallie who? sorry, wrong house

Your mom is so ugly, she buys groceries at the grocery store.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Cause he's dead.

whats the problem with black and mexican jokes? once youve heard juan youve heard jamal

What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

Knock knock Who's there? The police Ahh shit

How do you make a dead baby float? -you take your foot off its head.

What did the convicted necrophiliac pedophile do when he found a dead baby? He reported it to the authorities because despite his past habits and behaviour, and after years of rehabilitation he became a responsible and considerate citizen

What do you get when you cross Justin Bieber and One Direction? A bunch of gay pop stars.

What will Postman Pat be called after he retires? Pat.

When Life throws you lemons you might be hallucinating

Everyone is special in there own ways except for patrick whos demented

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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