What's the difference between a piano and a goldfish? One's a piano, the other is a goldfish.

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Whats white and can talk? Snow, i lied about the colour

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. The man leaves in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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how did the ant die? i stepped on it

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Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

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Paul walker: Breaks, stop Breaks: no

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whats long, hard, and full of semen? A submarine

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

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You're so gay that you lost your virginity to someone of the same gender.

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What did the dog say to the house? Roof

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How did the conductor survive the Electric Chair? - He was a bad conducter

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why is the fat kid on the ground crying? Because I hit him with a shovel

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Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

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What did the blind kid get for Christmas? Same ones he got last year.

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So does Blake

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This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in 10 trash cans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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