What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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A wise man once said, "I am wise".

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Where did Susie go when the bomb went of? Everywhere?

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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Whats worse than pulling down a girls pants and seeing a giant furry bush... finding out her vagina has teeth in it.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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What do cows in Africa say? Moo

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, come at me again and I'll punch you

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Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

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How do you tell the difference between a politician and a reindeer? A politician is an employee who works under a strict firm of a government department while a reindeer is a large, grazing ungulate in the family Cervidae that is native to subarctic polar regions of North America.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Why can't the T-rex clap? Because it's extinct

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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