What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A typical out-door activity.

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Why did jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms or legs Knock knock Who's there? Not jimmy

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How do you get a clown to stop laughing? Throw an axe at it's face.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Can I have... ...a beer." The bartender asks, "What's with the large pause?" To which the bear replies, "I have... ...a speech impediment."

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Actually, no they're not. They're VIOLET. That's why they're called that. If they were blue, they would be called "Blues", or something of a similar nature. Don't be dumb.

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John and Sarah sitting in a tree. K i s s i n g. First comes love. Oops theres goes john-- he's falling---he's falling... he's broken his neck and ruptured his internal organs. D e a t h

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What did a policeman say to his belly? Nothing. Because he knows his belly is incapable of speech.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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all hail based mark

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What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

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A white man walks down an alley and sees two black men. They say hello and then are on their way.

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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How do you get a clown to shut up? Hit him in the face with an axe

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What's the difference between Wolfjob and a Jew? Wolfjob is attractive.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive a car? Because she was a woman.

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A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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So a man walks into a bar and he says "Can i have two beers?" The bartender says "Sure, Budweiser or Heineken?" The man responds "Uhmm... which one do you prefer?" The bartender says "Heineken."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops