What do you do if you see a man on the street with a pineapple up his bum? Take him to the hospital to have the pineapple removed professionally. It could be potentially dangerous for his health.

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

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What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

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There was an American, Mexican, and a Chineese man, they were all on a plane about to crash. They all threw off the plane somthing they had a lot of in their country before they died. the mexican sacraficed tacos. the chineese sacraficed noodles. and the american picked up the mexican and chineese and was about to throw them off beacause he had too many of them in their country but then he came to relization that a community with biodiversity is an important factor in life today. i mean, someones gonna have to mow the lawn?

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Why did the baby stop crying? It had been smothered to death by it's sleep- deprived single mother.

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Why was Sally lying on the ground? Cause she was dead

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Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

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who wants to hear a joke about the broken pencil? to late, its sharpened

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What did the blind man say to the deaf man? Can you speak up? I cant hear you!

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Soo if ur on a jet ski and the wheels fall off, how many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? Pickle.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? get in the car

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Q: What do the Gynecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common? A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it

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What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

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God. God.

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What do you call Batman with a knife in his chest? Dead

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

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knock knock whos there? jim okay come in.

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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Q: What do you say to someone who makes fun of you and is bigger than you? A: Nothing, you just punch him in the toe and run away

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You know what's the least funniest part about cancer? I am about to die in about a month or so.

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hickory dickory dock no one cares

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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