KOOKABURRA

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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This is on of those few moments where my guts and attitude leave me feeling as if the entire world is against me... ...Then I cant help but to smirk and think... The world against me? Finally a worthy challenge... Such a great day... Nero because fuck morals: Friends and not so friends do not call me Black Metal because I listen to power rock, my mother high on drugs attacked my wife claiming she was Satan, I killed my angel dust empowered mother, felt as if the world was against me... ...Such a great day... "I killed my father too but you dont hear me whining about it!" And of course... ...Rest in pieces oh "dear" mother", at least you did one good thing, you gave birth to your undertaker, while I killed you to end my lifelong misery, My only regret is ending yours... Now I request you all think I am a monster and pretend we live in a world where all parents are nice and good... You already deluded yourself? Perhaps you should thumb me up instead then.

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I had a lemon. hi.

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Roses are red my underwear is brown I just sharted my pants

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Why didnt jimmy go to school? He had a hangover

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what do you call a girl with no arms and legs whatever her name is

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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You are a special guy, and I mean that in a really sweet way, but a retard no. Synapses, tell me more please.

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Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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Why was Junior sad? His parents were killed in a car crash.

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Yo mama is so dumb that she failed the SATs

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You are being like super pervert now, I would never ever even try weed, cocaine is the real deal, you know I do not mean that. Anyway does it work on everyone?

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u suck

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? Crippled.

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Gentlemen, when she says no, she always means yes. Unless, of course, your rhetoric is of a sexual nature.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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A chinchilla and an octopus walk into a bar. What do they say? The octopus says Hello but the chinchilla says nothing because chinchillas cannot talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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