"Knock Knock," "Whos There?" "The Pizza Guy" "I hate pizza."

A neutron walked into a bar and asked "how much for a drink?" The bartender did not reply because a neutron is so small he didn't notice that it even entered.

Bean.

How old is george washington? anyway thats not the point your pregnant

Why did the witch stay up all night with a broken broomstick? Because she couldn't sweep.

I can count to potato.

How to you scare a paraplegic? Point a gun at him.

What did the girl say when she was hit by a train? Nothing she exploded on impact

How do you kill off a zombie apocalypse? Laser vision

One day a priest walked into a prison to bring lost souls to the Lord.....Not his best idea.

Why didn't the oven turn on? Because nothing turned it on.

There are two men named Dan. The first man says, "Hello, my name is Dan." The second man says, "Hello, my name is also Dan."

roses are red violets are blue just telling you in case you didnt know

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

What did little jonny do when he broke his leg? He proceeded to brake into tears due to the excruciating pain caused by his unfortunate injury.

What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

Why did the man stop eating? Because he took an arrow to the knee.

A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

How do you do to stop a baby who is circling? You nail his other feet.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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