Do you have to make frequent trips to the bathroom? Do you have a weak or broken stream? Do you leave the bathroom feeling satisfied? Do your frequent trips to the bathroom interrupt everyday activities? Well you should take Lunesta and just sleep. Then you wouldn't have this problem.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs gets for Christmas? Cancer

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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Have you ever tasted Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What do you call a mexican doing drugs? An average pablo

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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I have the answer to why the child stepped on a ball-he was dumb

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Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

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3 men are stranded on an island when they come across a brass lantern. The rub it and nothing happens. They all starve to death a day later.

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What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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What happened when Mary threw a kettle at Daniel? Daniel was scalded in the facial area and was blinded forever.

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Carl has 300 candy bars. He eats 295. What does Carl have? Diabetes. Carl has diabetes.

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What do you call cat that is on fire? Nigel.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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A deaf lion tried to kill a zebra. It succeeded.

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Why did the little girl cry? Because she had just witnessed the slaughter of her entire family and friends in front of her eye, leaving her not only peerless and alone, but also with the mental scars which come with witnessing such a harrowing ordeal.

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Knock knock How is ? Bond ,James Bond!

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I once saw a picture of a man who was bloodily murdered with his testicles replacing his eyes. then i had a nightmare, that was completely unrelated

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What's blue and smells like red paint. ............blue paint.

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roses are red violets are blue i have shit in my mouth so screw you

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What did the taxi friver say to the man? "You forgot your briefcase"

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What do you call a black man on a swing? Depends on what his name is

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops