OH LOOK I'M A SAILOR I KNOW NAUTICAL PHRASES! LIKE...... KNOTS AND MAST AND SHIP AND SEA AND STUFF

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the black guy love his new shirt? Because it was 100% cotton

thumb_up thumb_down +4

2 sausages were in a frying pan. 1 sausage says it sure is hot in here, the other sausage says WTF a talking sausage!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats brown and sticky? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hi

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how makes licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? depends on how determined you are to find out

thumb_up thumb_down +4

where did Lucy go when the bomb dropped? everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q. Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? A. Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will cause me to develop a drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why doesn't anyone like reed? who cares, no one likes reed

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why was the little boy upset? A: His nose was glued to the sidewalk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did Cinderella wear at the ball? Clothes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man fall of the cliff? A: Because someone pushed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops