What is blue and smells like the sea The ocean

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Harry Chappell raped someone

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why is my phone broken i dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I just missed my bus. At least I haven't got cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When is Florida not the sunshine state? At night.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

4

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A lady was walking to the grocery store as she was walking she saw a old lady with a dog behind them where two black merses and about 200 women behind the merses. The lady Rushes over and ask '' Maim i am sorry to bother you but i would like to know who you lost and how?'' The old lady paused for a minute and awnsered '' I lost my husband and mother in law, Well My husband had just walked in to the house and my new dog went and ferousiously atacted him my mother in law had been living with us at the time she the jumped in and tried to help him They both died because of blood loss'' The lady looked at her with simpathy and thought i feel sorry for her husband and his mother she then asked '' Can i barrow your dog'' the old lady looked puzzled and said '' Get in line '' The lady walked to the end of the line as the dog was Passed to a women and taken home then passed back. When the women got her turn she thought do i want to kill my husband then she thought yes

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

From a picture, it is difficult to tell the difference between an apatosaurus and a diplodocus.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A: Knock knock B: Who's there? A: Doctor B: Doctor who? A: Doctor Johnson, i'm here to check up on you. How's the medication going? B: It's going well thank you, it's working. A: That's very good to hear. Hope you recover soon. B: Thank you!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Britney Spears say when she got to Paris? "Oh my God, we're in France!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

thumb_up thumb_down +13

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the best thing about The Pixies? Their music.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how many dead babies can you fit into a blender? 17 how do you get them out? Tortilla chips, but you'd be arrested by that time anyway because you just murdered 17 babies

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops