a man reads his wife a poem "roses are red, violets are blue, and I love you." the wife talks to her brother asking why he changed the poem he said men do that cause they love you. later that night she got pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Rick Santorum 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo momma so old that she should be concerned about mesothelioma and asbestoses, as she may have lived during a period of increased asbestos use. She may also be at risk of osteoporosis and should take vitamin supplements daily to improve her rapidly deteriorating health.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Thank you Jesus, for this wonderful meal we have tonight. De nada.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Well Nero, my actual name is Axel Knight, I might have used your "moralman" identity as my own social experiment of sorts, I mean no offense, and if you will leave some contact information, I am sure we can arrive to some kind of settlement... ...Keep your identity crisis thing, I have absolutely no reason to continue communicating here, besides, its six million followers, actually more like seven...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Johnny go to the party? He was aborted as a fetus

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How much wood would Chuck Wood have if Chuck Wood could have wood? None, Chuck Wood has E.D.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Asian tries to climb a staircase in a wheelchair. He finds this difficult, because he is in a wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happened to the seal that walked into the zoo? Well nothing because seals can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

police are looking for max 'cheesehead' harrison

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How you your turn a trashcan into a semi-automatic AK-47? You don't. But ask the irishman who just said "hello" to you.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

your mothers so blonde she has yellow hair.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +9

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red violets are blue some poems rhyme but this one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What makes men cry? The realization that humanity is completely pointless in the infinitely expanding universe and thus any action to try and improve human life is also a complete farce.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock-knock. Who's there? Doorbell repairman. ym

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A black man, an Asian man, and an American man are in a car. Who is driving? The black man, it's his car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops